So right now at this very moment I was suppose to be interviewing for a volleyball coaching position. But yesterday I received a call from St. Anthony's hospital requesting an interview for 2nd shift surgical care as a nurse..... ugh this sucks. Why can't i do both, but I know I can't no matter how hard I try, someone would suffer, not necessarily me, but probably the girls on the volleyball team, I turned down the position because I feel thats something I can't devote myself to 100%. And if I can't do it 100% why waste your time on it. So I'm sitting here thinking how awesome it would have been to put coach in front of my name, but obviously it wasn't meant to happen right now, hopefully in a few years. But, probably by then I won't be able to hold my own on the court anymore :) nah I will... lol.
Besides that I had a tremendous clinical experience last Thursday and Friday!! Thursday started out awful but ended sweet!! I was in surgery, which I actually love. I don't know if it was the nausious feeling I had before surgery, the fact I didn't eat breakfast, or that damn mask on my face feeling like a boaconstrictor around my body..... either way there I was standing there watching the nurses and surgeon do their thing. I kinda moved around a bit, kept flippin my mask to get a little more 02 to the face, but it started coming.... the really hot, sweaty, black around the edges feel.... oh shit I knew i had to get out of there. I ran to the locker room backroom and bam.... I was on the floor, I frickin blacked out!!! haha now I just told my teacher I got sick, but nope I was passed out on the backroom floor, with my scrub hat, mask, and uniform on.... ya i would laugh at me too lol. When I came around I stood up and looked at myself in the mirror, i looked like a ghost. Using my best judgement I decided that I should not go back to surgery and risk passing out there and the dr and nurses trying to take care of me AND the pt..... so I left. I was so embarrassed, I just told everyone I got sick and had to leave to come up to the regular cardiac step down floor. whata lie. BUT some good DID come from this!!! I got to put a nasograstric tube down....yay!!! i know, only a real nurse would be so excited about sticking a tube down someones nose into their stomach!! But i was so excited because I just went in there, set up, donned gloves, measured, and did it..... it was awesome (of course the pt was amazing) so for the rest of the day I was DR. Destiny, long story short all my classmates call me Dr. Destiny, because not only do I want to understand every single desease, interventions, outcomes, but I want to know the pathophysiology behind it, and the dr.s dx behind it..... thats just me. But I was so excited, I put my first NG tube down!!!! Do I feel like a Real Nurse now? umm kinda. My LAST clinicals are next thrusday and friday........ and i'm DONE!!! woot woot...... I signed up to continue my BSN this fall, I love learning about the human body and everything that goes with it, and I've almost learned about everything a Nurse would need to know, so why not continue. I (unlike a lot of people) actually enjoy leaning, studying, and proving myself to have obtained the knowledge. so 2 years I suppose until Destiny Dannells RN BSN.... but for now I'm still just focussing on Destiny Blake, RN!
Until next time, peace, love, and NG tubes.
Destiny
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Saturday, March 5, 2011
All you need is love
Tonight I'm going to blog about someone who is constantly on my mind, he makes me strive to work hard to build a better future, he's caring, supportive, honest and sexy with dark eyes I get lost in :) Of course I'm talking about my fiance Devin. Its crazy what being in love can do to you..... really, 4 years ago, I was ready to leave flora, I was ready to run, live, and grow. I wanted to experience life on my own. But somewhere in that time period I met dev, we hung out, I fell head over heels for him. I was listening to music (i would never listen to) staying up until 4 am (when i woke up at 7 everyday) i stayed working at a place i hated (because he was the night manager) I chose to stay in Flora (because that's where he was). No regrets whatsoever. The night I told him I loved him felt so right :) The night I agreed to marry him felt even better! I can't believe I get to spend the rest of my life with him. Ya i hear everyone say 'i'm marrying my best friend' shutup don't lie, most of you aren't. I would choose Devin and only Devin to see everyday for the rest of my life. I am honestly marrying my best friend, we can lay in bed for hours laughing and giggling like kids, we can tackle eachother in the morning as we are getting ready for work, throw a football around outside on a nice fall day, go to the gym and push eachother to do one more rep. He's my biggest fan and support system. All through nursing school, he's the one telling me that I can do it, I know this stuff, I of course don't believe him. So as one lasting impression he texts me before a test and says 'good luck you got this!' After a good test, bad test, good clinical day, or a day where I'm crying on the way home...... I know he's there waiting for me. Nothing can be too bad that seeing him dosen't relieve all the pressure from the day. I was getting stressed and upset about the wedding details and cost, and I called him one night crying. I was so upset because I felt like I was letting the reason behind this wedding go unnoticed. I just want to marry him. We don't need a huge fancy wedding and reception to declare our love, no nothing at all. I would be happy just me and him and the judge at the courthouse, thats all we really needed. I felt like the real reason behind this mass of wedding jargis was getting lost. But Dev was there to reassure me that this is what we want to do, we want to have a huge party to celebrate the fact that we are finally married!! He said that not many people get the chance to celebrate that and we are going to, we are going to celebrate with eachother by our sides and our family and friends there. Not to mention a killer honeymoon suite waiting upstairs for us!!!! lol..... Its so funny thinking back about how both of us tried so hard to 'just be friends'....... that was the hardest thing I have every done!!! I was completely smitten with this boy!!! and he was so not my type! I was 17, he was 18, he had no intentions of finishing school, he had long hair (that my daddy DID NOT like), he drove an old beat up station wagon, he wore tight band tshirts and tight jeans........ lol just thinking about it all makes me laugh. He was so funny and we could stay up all night talking!!! (we still can) And how much he has changed in the past 4 years..... he now has a degree in culinary arts, he is the dietary manager here in town, he is on the volunteer fire dept, his hair is cut, and he sold the wagon and bought a toyota tundra. But I would still take the 18 year old Devin any day, thats the man I fell in love with, but the man he is now will be the one I'm marrying and will one day raise kids with. He supports every dream I have, I want to one day coach volleyball, so he never has a problem with me giving up one of the few days we have off together to go spend it in the gym practicing. He is just the best. He is more than I could ever imagine. Even though my dad will deny it, when he looks at Devin he knows he is the one he wants to me be with forever.... he's told me so. The night Devin told my dad that he planned on asking me to marry him, my dad cried. Before I even realized I was in love with Devin my dad told me that when I'm with Devin I seem happier..... and of course I was! When I'm sick Devin is constantly checking on me lol, I came home one day he had the couch made up (I love sleeping on the couch when I'm sick) the thermometer, medicine, cell phone charger, and a big glass of sprite......all on the table beside me, I've never felt to taken care of before. When he kisses me, really kisses me, I still get that happy dizzy/sleepy feeling that leaves my knees weak, or times when he does something as small as glancing in my direction and the mere glimpse sends my heart flipping worthy of love at first sight. Every love story is different, each begins and ends in its own unique way. The love stories that last the longest are sometimes the most thrilling, other times the most uneventful. Whatever it is that creates and recreates that precious bond we call love, I feel it and act it out in my own life every day, and feel deeply and strongly the warmth of its return from my dev.
I appreciate him for more reasons than I can list, and I tell him that as often as I think of one or several of them. I respect him more deeply than any other man on this planet, and I try to show that as well. I am comforted by him, and so I try to be his comfort. All in all, there aren't enough words to describe how I feel about Devin. All I know is the night he asked me to marry him, something felt so right and almost complete. And on October 1, when we repeat our vows in front of our family, friends, and our god..... I know both our lives will be complete with eachother. Enough sappy love, I'm going to go crawl into bed my with good looking fiance....... ya its a sin.... haha oh well.
Still smitten, future Destiny Dannells.... hmm sounds good
Friday, March 4, 2011
Are you where your suppose to be?
I haven't been on here in a few days due to (not blaming) school, work, life, etc. But I'm on the couch with a few spare minutes to myself and i'm going to blog. I always ask myself if people are truly happy with their job or ehh its a job, don't like it but I do it. Or if people settle for a job because the money is good. Don't get me wrong the money is an essential point of loving my job, but it may be about 10% of the reason I stay. For one minute I don't feel bad for someone who hates their job, but they haven't looked for anything else. Life is what you make of it, do what you love, love what you do. I'm absolutely doing what I love. I would possibly love more stable hours but oh well, what breaks ya can only make ya stronger :) The point I was getting at is, yesterday at the gym a young woman came up to me, have never met her before, and just started talking to me.... Ok I'll listen. I found out she helps young teenage moms throughout their pregnancy. She helps them from finding insurance, WIC, what to expect, all the way to breastfeeding, and developmental milestones in the new baby's life. Sweet job right? Ya that's what I thought too until we kept talking. She had been married awhile and her and her husband tried, prayed, and tried again to have a baby. She said finally after 7months she was pregnant!! She and her husband were beyond thrilled. Then she said 3 months along they went in for an untrasound only to find out there was no circulation in the baby, no heartbeat, no movement, nothing. She said it was the lowest point ever, "why would god do this to me? why would he give me a baby that I've wanted so bad then take it away?" Needless to say she had a lot of questions, and still does. I asked her if it irritated or saddened her to see teenage mothers come in who "had an accident". Some really don't want a baby, some don't plan on putting that baby's needs before their own. She smiled and said that she truly loves her job and decided that this pregnancy is what what suppose to happen to those young moms, it just wasn't suppose to happen to her. She didn't feel any negative feeling towards those young mom, nor envious of them. She simply was excited for them and wanted to be there to help and support them. She is an example of someone who truly loves their job and does it simply for that reason. She loved seeing the change in the new mom to be as they reach that point where they are excited about bringing this new baby into the world. She said she just wanted a baby of their own so bad that they kept trying and praying, then she said she finally decided she isn't going to try anymore, they left it up to god. She quit planning, she quit counting days, she simply let it be. And apparently 'let it be' was all it took. It took a while but a year and a half later she was pregnant. This time she gave birth to a healthy little boy, who she said "she couldn't imagine how much she could possibly love someone, until she met him." I loved talking to her and hearing her story. Who knew that just smiling at a total stranger can open up to a friendship. (She also said her husband is always eyeing Devin's Tundra and wants one just like ours) lol. You never know what each day will bring, accept it with an open heart. I did that day.
Until then, Destiny
Until then, Destiny
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
looking beyond march 1
Until tomorrow, stay classy,
destinyrachell
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