looking beyond march 1

Happy first day of March!! The sun is shining and the birds are chirping. I love mornings like this, too bad I'll be asleep soon. I worked night shift last night 10-8 so I had LOTS of time to think my thoughts...... something I thought about all night was my future, ugh its frustrating. Why can't we all just have directions? Ya know, graduate high school, move here, go to school, find a good man among the many you date, find a great job, get married, buy a house, start a good 401k plan, have babies, raise your babies right and pray they turn into successful people of society, retire. As you can tell, I like direction. Unfortunately for me, life dosen't have direction. I guess if it did it wouldn't leave much to the imagination. If we had direction I might have decided to play volleyball in college and move away. Ooops somewhere before that time I fell in love and decided to stay here with him. But thats a good thing about not having direction I suppose. I also never thought I would see myself going to school to become a nurse, which I feel is what I was meant to do. I'm sure theres a million things I was "meant" to do, but really when I'm taking care of somebody I know thus far I have made the right decisions. As I plan our wedding, I know right where I am is where I am suppose to be. Now sitting here watching my dogs tear up the house I could live without, LOL. But in 10 short weeks I graduate and will be sitting for my boards, then its for real grown up time. Am I ready to be <grownup>? Ready or not here I come. Then comes figuring out where I want to work, exactly what I want to do. OB, surgery, med/surg, ortho, office? This is where directions can appear in my planner and I would be perfectly content just following along......... Do I want to finish my BSN? And if so why? Is it because "socially" that's what you do? "Your young, you should keep on with school." Or do i want to finish my BSN because I see something further in my future that I want to achieve by furthing my education?  Your guess is as good as mine. Will Devin and I have as successful and loving marriage as we had a relationship the past 4 years? I would sure hope so, but I'm sure all the millions of people who have spent thousands in divorce court didn't think on their wedding day... "I can't wait to be sitting through a divorce 5 years from now."  If so they probably should have went to counseling from day one lol. Devin and I were watching a research documentary on the history channel one night. It stated that humans, like animals, were not meant to mate for life. They were meant to fall in love with someone who will have healthy productive children and be a good mate/spouse to raise them. After the kids are raised the love is ussually gone and its time to leave the monogomous relationship. REALLY?!?! thats optimistic!  Think about it..... you technically are NOT made to mate for life?! So are the people who are still "happily" married after 50 years really "happy"? Or just "settled" and "comfortable"? I'ld like to say 50 years from now when Devin walks in the room I still get butterflies. We aren't going to be a statistic nor fake, when I'm not with him he is all I think about. I guess 50 years from now I'll blog and let ya know how we are doing lol. Maybe we'll have 1 kid or 5 by then? Still living in Clay Co. ? Will I be working as an RN or maybe perhaps a nurse practitioner? Will I be content and happy with the life I lived and the decisions I made?  Maybe I don't want to know what the future holds, I do like surprises.....
                                Until tomorrow, stay classy,
                                                          destinyrachell