There's nothing like a funeral to make you feel alive

Who would be at my funeral? How would I be remembered? I have thought about this a lot the past few days. We lost a great man here in clay county.... he was someone who didn't judge, didn't criticize, didn't look at your last name to see if he could be friends with you. He was genuinely a nice guy. He was there for us all spiritually and friendly on many occassions. At his visitation people were waiting hours in line just to pay respect.  Isn't that something we all strive for? We all want good friends, we want people to think highly of us, we want people to miss us when we are gone. Basically we want someone to cry at our funeral?  Of course you aren't being a good person in hindsight of "hey I bet they'll be sad when I die" but really put it into perspective. What impression will you leave on people you have met throughout your life? Will they think wow she was such a great person, always willing to help anyone, someone who always had a smile which put a smile on someone else's face and heart? I strive for that everyday... unconciously I suppose. I don't want people thinking awful things I may or may not have done when my name crosses their minds. I want people to remember my smile, my thoughfulness, my humor, my intelligence. Don't you? I love the feeling of walking down the street and simply smiling at someone.... it does wonders for both people.  People won't remember what you did, why you did it.... they will remember how you made them feel.  I'm not saying I have never done anything in which someone has questions my intentions I have, so have you. Being a good person also means discovering yourself and your role in the world.... everyone has a role in the world. I loved while going through clinical rotations at least once a day I was told how amazing my smile and humor was and that it makes a world of difference..... thanks thats what I was going for.  Maybe I wasn't put here to be the perfect daughter, wife, sister, friend.... but whatever it is I'm sure I'll figure it out, maybe I won't. But I know one thing, I know that at my funeral people will remember me for something.... hopefully its good :) 
                         
ps my title is from my favorite song... pretty smart guys <3

Destiny Blake, Rn

Wow, I haven't blogged  in a long time!! I promise this will be at least a weekly occurance in my life from here on out!!! Thats right I am now an RN!! (the reason for the small break) Let me take you back a few weeks ago! Graduation had come and go, I had a job waiting for me, I was a nervous wreck. I still hadn't recieved my ATT (authorization to test) what the heck is going on I thought?! Finally after waiting a month I got ahold of someone who spoke english and come to find out... terrific I was missing fingerprints. Long story short I sent all my missing paperwork off and received my att by the end of the week. I scheduled my boards on fathers day in evansville, I can't even explain how nervous I was. Weird because I actually have so much confidence in my nursing education. I couldn't focus on anything else for the 2 weeks before boards....I mean this is my life, pass or fail, I will have to change my life for the next few months. I could have lost my job if I failed. So everyday for about 6 hours a day I sat. and I studied. ridiculously studied. I have never wanted anything so bad in my life. That morning I woke up and I can't even pinpoint one thought that was going through my head because I had a million!!! a feeling I have never in my life felt. I guess I have just never wanted anything SO bad in my life!! is this how I will feel my wedding day?! if so I need a xanax!! Anyway A.D.D..... but as I was taking the test I KNEW my computer just had to shut off at the minimum amount of questions (thats a good thing in nursing world.... less questions you take means the better your doing) and it did! But still had to wait 48 hours for my results.... I really had not been so sure about anything in my life but I knew I passed that test, I worked so hard, theres noway I CANT pass!! cocky much? lol no but really I worked too hard the past few years not to pass. And I did.... I can now put RN behind my name... was it worth it? stay tuned I start full time next week on surgical care.........ready or not I'm a grownup